Gusto kong sumigaw!!!

an impromptu note from my previous blog… a bursting angst from a hollering mind….

its actually hard to pretend that im happy when i really wanna do is cry and scream till it cut through my heart and stop its bleedin… its so hard to see your family falling into pieces in front of you and you can do nothing for maybe staying silent and pretending to be numb is the best thing to do… first i lost my grandfather through a heart attack, after that i thought our family can manage to be whole again. i tried to stand and be strong for my grandmother…well i just did, i didnt even cried infront of her didnt even show signs of hurt. i thought it was the biggest burden that i need to face as diz year will end but im wrong… my parents just separated,,, my father stayed at my grandma’s house while i moved out with my mother… bottles of alcoholic stole my father and some other guy stole my moms heart… i just dont know what to feel and react… should i speak my silence or just watch our home fall into pieces… i dont know how to patch things up anymore… i feel so lonely and empty… i want to continue my life but i dont know how… where should i stand and start??? now i dont know where is the noisy and opinionated girl behind me, as if somebody just slapped me to stop talking and voicing out my mind… right now, i just want to scream and hate the world…